Duties of the best man

It’s the job people love and hate in equal measure, but it’s hard to ignore the importance of becoming a best man for someone.

It’s the ultimate demonstration of friendship; by handing best man duties over to someone, you’re entrusting them with some of the most important elements of the biggest day of your life.

There’s the stag do (obviously), the guarding of the ring, and generally ensuring that everything goes swimmingly from the groom’s perspective.

If you’re looking for a best man guide, you’ve come to the right place. From best man gift etiquette to best man rules, we’ve got you covered.

So, if your mate, brother or colleague has asked you to undertake the role of best man, keep this guide close to hand!

What does it mean to be best man?

This is very much a personal thing, but a best man’s duties extend far beyond the organisation of a great stag do.

Being someone’s best man is a big responsibility. Just like the maid of honour, it makes you the main person in charge of one half of the soon-to-be-wed couple.

That means the groom trusts you, respects you and, clearly, counts you among one of (if not the best) friends he has.

We won’t get too soppy about this, but being a best man should be one of the proudest days of your life, and you can have an awful lot of fun while you’re at it!

Where does the best man tradition come from?

The best man is an age-old tradition, and traditional best man duties remain to this day.

But, where did it all come from?

Legend has it that the best man role originated in the 16^th century with the Germanic Goths.

This guy was known as the ‘best man’ because he took on the role of ‘stealing’ the bride from her community or disapproving family, thus enabling her to marry. Quite a dude, from all accounts, and it’s likely he was pretty handy with a sword, too.

The modern best man is rather different, clearly, but the premise still remains - he’s there to help the bride marry her groom while following the many best man rules.

What if I want two best men?

It’s becoming more common for grooms to have more than one best man, and that’s absolutely fine.

The best man duties list is pretty big, and sharing the burden makes sense, but that shouldn’t be the reason you opt for two.

Grooms who have two best men do so usually because they simply can’t choose between two of their best friends. And that’s fine - why upset someone on the biggest day of your life when you can let them both share the honour?

Typical best man duties and responsibilities 

There are lots of traditional best man duties to take into account when planning your wedding.

It’s entirely up to you in terms of how much you involve the best man in the below, but here are some of the most common answers to the question “what does a best man do?”:

• Help choose the groom’s outfit. Arguably a little easier than picking the bride’s dress, the job of choosing the right morning suit is made far easier with another pair of hands.
• Planning the stag do. No wedding is complete without what should be the groom’s best night out (or weekend) of his life, and the planning of it is almost solely down to the best man.
• The speech. One of the biggest best man responsibilities is the speech. The ability to tread a fine line between humour and insult is vital, but this is probably his one chance to make an entire room of people laugh uncontrollably.
• Look after the rings. Top of the best man duties checklist as far as the bride and groom are concerned is likely to be safeguarding the all-important wedding rings, which will need to be handed to the vicar or registrar during the ceremony. Don’t lose them!
• Stay with the groom the night before. The night before the big day is a chance for the groom and best man to spend some quality time together (and probably have the odd drink, too).
• Help the groom get ready on the day. When the wedding day arrives, the best man can usually be found ensuring the groom looks his best, ready for the ceremony.
• Organise photos and key elements of the day. Wedding photographers will often look to the best man to help with arranging group photos, but best man duties on the wedding day can also extend to announcing key events, such as the cutting of the cake and the first dance.

There are, of course plenty of best man duties and speech examples to be found on the internet, but the above should set you in good stead for the most important elements of being a best man.

The ultimate best man checklist

So, we’ve covered the best man speech duties, stag do duties, wedding preparation duties, and other crucial tasks he will need to carry out. But if it’s a quick at-a-glance summary you’re after, here’s the ultimate checklist:

• Organise the stag do (make it the best night of the groom’s life)
• Help organise the groom’s and groomsmen’s wedding suit fittings (don’t worry - it’s easier than wedding dress shopping)
• Organise gifts for the bridesmaids and the groom (forget the former at your peril)
• Write and deliver the best man speech (who does the best man toast? As many people as possible!)
• Delegate tasks to groomsmen and ushers (someone needs to guide people to the right seats in the church, eh?)
• Collect items for the ceremony (think suits, button holes - that kind of thing)
• Take care of the rings (enough said)
• Help the groom get ready on the wedding day (make sure he ties his laces)
• Organise guests for group photos (the photographer will thank you)
• Make announcements at the reception (wedding parties need lots of guidance)
• Toast the bride and groom (the easy bit)
• Dance with the maid of honour after the first dance (hey, it’s tradition)

Wrapping up

We hope you find our best man wedding checklist and guide helpful - feel free to share with anyone who is given this vitally important role!