UK couples are staying together than ever before, with the overall divorce rate having fallen to 33% as of 2019.
We’re not surprised, as if a couple can survive the stress and challenges of planning a wedding, then they should be able to cope with whatever occurs after vows have been shared!
But what are the most common pre-wedding arguments, and how can you resolve these conflicts as a couple?
We’ll start with the most obvious area of conflict, as couples often do battle about the cost of their wedding and how much they should set aside for their big day.
In fact, this remains one of the most supercharged topics for any aspiring bride and groom, particularly in instances where one partner wants to spend considerably more than the other.
For example, you may have approximately £40,000 in disposable or saved income, but a potential conflict could arise if one person wants to spend it all on the wedding and the other prefers to keep some aside for a rainy day!
Prevention is better than cure in this respect, so be proactive and sit down with your other half to finalise your budget and discuss how funds are going to be sourced ahead of time. This can negate potential arguments further down the line, while allowing you to prioritise certain items of expenditure ahead of others.
Not all in-laws have been created equal, and it’s fair to say that some can struggle to recognise boundaries when you’re attempting to plan your wedding (regardless of which side of the family that they represent).
This can lead to tangible tension and frustration between you and your loved one over time, especially if you feel that your in-laws are being overbearing and having an undue influence on your final decisions.
However, such family dynamics are common, and often in-laws don’t realise how they’re coming across as they simply want to help. Similarly, you shouldn’t fall out with your spouse-to-be in this instance, as they’re not responsible at all for the actions of their parents.
Instead, try to gain some perspective and focus on the bigger picture of your wedding, while adopting a calm and reasoned manner when raising issues with your partner or their parents. The most important thing is to minimise tension and tackle issues productively, rather than allowing negative feelings to fester and spill over into conflict.
This can take many forms and occur for numerous reasons, whether one partner appears disinterested in the big day or the other is overly controlling and incredibly uncompromising over the finer details of their wedding.
Either scenario can be counter-productive, as each can lead to incredible levels of resentment while turning the planning process into a procession where one or both partners feels completely isolated.
The duty here is on the offended partner to raise their concerns in a calm and concise manner, while avoiding accusatory language and trying to focus on how to resolve the issue.
Remember, your partner loves you and may not be aware of their behaviour or how it’s impacting you, and they’ll most likely be desperate to correct the situation once it has been brought to their attention.