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How to write wedding vows - perfect wedding tips

Posted on 4th September 2019

Whether you're writing wedding vows for him or wedding vows for her, you've probably reached this page looking for examples of wedding vows.

There's just one problem; with so many other tasks required for a modern wedding, how on earth do you find the time to sit down and write yet another bunch of paragraphs (as important as they are) for the big day? And, regardless, is there really any benefit when it comes to writing your own vows versus traditional vows?

The good news? You will have time to do this if you want unique marriage vows that dispense with the traditional wedding vows we've already heard before.

You might want funny wedding vows, modern wedding vows or your own take on Catholic wedding vows, but whatever your preference, consider this blog post your ultimate guide for how to write wedding vows without breaking a sweat.

What are wedding vows?

Traditional marriage vows are essentially two sets of words, read by both the bride and groom in front of a registrar, vicar or priest, their family and friends. They usually include declarations, too, which confirms you'll stay together, do right by one another and never commit adultery.

We've all heard standard wedding vows. They go something along the lines of:

"I, Dave, take thee, Sarah, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith (or) pledge myself to you."

If you're religious, these kinds of church wedding vows will probably be perfect for you, but there's been a growing trend that has led to non-religious couples writing vows of their own.

Why do people write their own vows?

When stripped back, Christian wedding vows are essentially a set of wedding promises, and for some people, the religious element either goes against their own beliefs or simply feels a bit over the top (sometimes, even, old-fashioned).

For this reason, some engaged couples decide to write their own vows. They'll scour the web looking for tips on how to write wedding vows and create some words that truly mean something to them.

The great thing about your own wedding vows is that you can make them completely personal, funny, or more heartfelt than what you normally get in standard wedding vows.

There's nothing wrong with non-religious wedding vows, just as there's nothing wrong with traditional wedding vows. The choice is entirely up to you.

What do you say in wedding vows?

Non-traditional wedding vows give you complete freedom to write something that is entirely personal to you.

It would, therefore, be wrong of us to suggest exactly what you should put into your vows, and rather than provide sample wedding vows, we can instead give you some pointers on the kind of things you can include.

For instance, there might be a certain place you always go to, or somewhere in history, that means a lot to you (the location of your first date, first kiss or holiday, for instance). Equally, there might be a certain song that you want to incorporate into your romantic wedding vows, or a reference to a film that's a favourite of yours.

Wedding vows are spoken by both him and her, so you'll write them separately. There are no rules, so you could write them together, but, traditionally, each member of the couple will write them in secret and only reveal them on the big day.

How do you start your vows?

Think about your entire life together so far. What has made it special, and how do you feel about your soon-to-be marital partner?

When writing personal vows, it's easy to stare forever at a blank piece of paper without getting anywhere, but inspiration should slowly come.

Remember - you're getting married for a reason. If you're the groom and writing marriage vows for her, think about how she makes you feel, why you love her so much, and what it is that's made you want to spend the rest of your life with that one person.

If you're the bride and you want to write funny wedding vows for him, think about everything he does that makes you laugh (or which makes others laugh) and build that into your vows.

When writing wedding vows, think less about the process of how to write wedding vows and more about the person for whom you're writing them.

How do you write your own vows?

So, now we know the what, why, and who of wedding vows, here's how to write wedding vows that are uniquely personal to you.

  1. Talk to your partner about them

Before you put pen to paper, it's important you're both on board with the idea, so take some time to look at other wedding vow examples and decide if this is really something you both want to do.

  1. Write from the heart

Writing your own vows isn't easy. However, if you can find somewhere quiet to write, you'll be able to reflect on your feelings for your partner and write directly from the heart - it's not as difficult as you might think.

  1. Make a list

Write down all of your thoughts about your partner (good and bad!). This will give you the basis from which to write your personal vows.

  1. Don't leave the task until the last minute

The longer you leave this important task, the more rushed it will be when you come to do it. Catholic marriage vows and civil ceremony vows are always there if you need a backup, but if you've decided to do your own, stick to the idea!

  1. Write a couple of drafts

Don't settle on your first draft of vows - write a couple (or more, if needed), until you're 100% happy. Leave a long enough gap between writing drafts to ensure you return with a fresh mind.

What to include in marriage vows

So, what do you include in your marriage vows for him or her? This is the easiest tip of the lot because it's entirely to you! Include whatever you feel and whatever comes from the heart! It's important to not focus on creating wedding vows UK registry offices or churches might expect to hear because this is entirely personal to you.

Wrapping up

There's not really such a thing as legal wedding vows or a standard for how to write wedding vows - they should always be personal to you. So, whether you decide to go for the personal touch and make romantic wedding vows, or vows that are closer to humanist wedding vows, just remember this is all about declaring your love and commitment to one another.

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